Anticipation

I'm nearing the end, and with it, I experience unbearable anticipation. Like the calm before the storm, I feel the nervous tension build up within, waiting to be released.

The sensation is that of under water submersion. You're holding your breath, clawing for the surface, longingly staring @ the light above.
You're almost there, and your oxygen reservoir has exhausted. The knot in your chest begins to grow. You can nearly taste the air. You gape, only to be met with a mouthful of water.
It isn't the fact that you cannot breath, but the fact that you're so close to obtaining what you've long awaited. The struggle in your chest is what's urging you; it's similar to this last week of high school: pure & unadulterated anticipation, aching away until you break the surface and completely abandon the viscous world below to inhabit the Earth above.

testing

Test

Bright Faces, 1000 Paces

Bright Faces, 1000 Paces

Crazy chills rolling through my spine.
Looking up not down, onward climb.
Always try to acheive bigger.
Gun in hand, I pull the trigger.

Wind through hair, I feel elation.
Stopped, top down @ a gas station.
To my life, you're holding the keys.
Hop in with me, birds and the bees.

Sky is clear no clouds in vision.
Not complex, simple decisions.
With my friends joyously yelling.
No pain here just L O Lzing.

Look thorugh eyes with new perspective.
Life's mysteries, I AM detective.
Discov'ring reasons for me 2 smile.
Like my sweater? It's argyle.

Surprises around ev'ry bend.
I do not wish this fun to end.
Lay down, feet up, I'm unwinding
from the day of soul search finding.

Of course it's time to lay my head.
I need my camel dragged to bed.
Hung up my coat, plugged in my phone.
May be lonley, never alone.

I once was lost, but now am found.
Ecstatically, I'm homeward bound.
My life is flushed no more clogging.
Sometimes slow but never stopping.

Above My Head

Above My Head

The rain pours.
It pours and pours.
Buckets @ a time.
And naked here, I sit.
Sans coat, sans umbrella.
It's cold.
I can no longer discern my own shivering beneath the pounding of droplets from the dark mass hovering above my head.
I'm in a room that begins to fill.
The flood water inundates my mind.
My levees aren't as strong as they used to be.
They've broken many times prior so their hinges have loosened.
The room fills to the brim.
Kissing the ceiling, I inhale my final breath.
Descending to the bottom, releasing bubbles as I go.
Seconds pass.
No panic.
Airways open and water intrudes.
It's over; concern dissolves and the pain is gone.
The dark cloud above my head has finally taken me and I'm immeasureably glad it did.

India: New Found Obsession

So, Facebook has begun to annoy me lately. Well, not fb itself, but my friends on facebook. If I see one more "Jai Ho" status update, I will be forced to leave a nasty comment under said status.

I get it, India is an amazing place. I would/should know being part Indian myself, and having studied the country a couple years back. You didn't see me flaunting it however, or attempting to capitalize on my heritage. What I'm trying to say is, "It takes 8 Oscars, really?"

Of course I'm alluding to the success of Slumdog Millionaire. Yes, it was a good movie, and yes, it brought to light some important issues, but was it epic? No, to put it simply. Titanic still takes the cake for 'epic' movie.

The fact that it is so "pop culture" bugs me. I'm not one to follow norms or take interest in something because everyone else is. This is not to say that I don't take head to what is happening in the mainstream, and if it truly whets my pallete I will develop that interest (but because I honestly like it, not because all my friends do). I'm just saddended that many of my friends have lost themselves in the sea of sameness that is currently Indian culture, i.e. listening to indian music, or naming off random indian actors like they've followed their careers since diapers (which they haven't).

I guess I'm just concerning myself too much with others' lives. Excuse my human being, and excuse my fb; NewsFeed is a bitch.


I'll keep you posted.

Bigger

I am bigger than this.
I am bigger than your words.
I have experienced too much negativity in my life to relinquish to yours.
Say your stuff, talk your trash, spew the petty diahrrea of your mouth; that is all it is to me.

You no longer fluster my thoughts.
You no longer cloud my vision.
Unlike the moth to the flame, I am no longer drawn to your Hot mouth&Cold words.
I know what I have done, and know that my behavior, demeanor, soul, and purpose in life, do not warrant your indigestion of my morale.

I'm here to say, "I'm happy for you."
I'm happy that you can rid youself of whatever pain, misfortune, and hurt of your past that consumes your being.
Granted it may be at my expense, I am happy you're able to put yourself to sleep at night.
While this is true, I pray that you discover an alternative to your self-help of hurt-self.
I pray that you discover a method of self-help that excludes the deprecation of others, for that method is the most fleeting.
I pray that you discover a method of self-help that includes the admiration of Your Self, for that method is the most rewarding.

I am bigger than this.
I am bigger than your words.
I am only able(and willing) to impart to you my words of support because I myself once have been where you are now.
I have been in your shoes, every single pair; and what a feeling it is to loosen your laces, feel the warmth of the earth beneath your Souls and the smoothness of sand between your toes.

LOLCATZ

Oh hai!
Long time no blog!

I will post an "update" later since my life has changed much since my previous blog.

On a lighter and somewhatpredictable note, I'm procrastinating. Procrastinating from doing laundry. Procrastinating from doing laundry by blog posting (is it obvz?).

*NEWSFLASH*
I'm allowing my lolcatz obsession to publicly resurface.

*SIDENOTENEWSFLASH*
My mom just called me, informing me that she bought me Aussie Red Licorice and Flaxseed Meal. I am one happy boi.

Anywayz, my lolcatz obsession is back, and I'm loving every minute of it.


BJ'll keep you posted.